Today, I want to talk about how to handle negative people, not just the ones we work with, or the common everyday crouch, I am talking about the people that you hold dear to your heart. Negative family members come in all shapes and sizes, and all different levels of impact on our feelings. I am talking about the ones that we would love to see approval and support from, the ones that are not what we desire them to be. In my particular situation, I have a father that is narcissistic to say the least. He finds it impossible to get excited about things and events that make his family happy. As you know, I video taped our adventure at Full Sail last Sunday. The whole house is buzzing with excitement, our families are buzzing with excitement and we are happy all around about our visit to Full Sail and Rasmussen. I sent my Dad the Full Sail behind the Scenes Tour video to share our enthusiasm with him. He had nothing nice to say at all, infact he was insulting, rude, and inconsiderate. He really put my no complaints challenge to the test. Some of you may know our history, but most do not.
A brief glimpse at my history with my Dad.
He left my mother when I was very young. Never paid child support or even came to the phone when I called. He never called, never reached out, and never did any of the things a good father would do. When I did get near him, and asked why, he simply stated that talking to me hurt him too much. he never once realized, with his brilliant mind, that his hurt feelings were not nearly as important as the feelings of his broken hearted child. After all, he left, not me ( was around 4 years old). I spent my life trying to fill the whole that the loss of my father left me. Until one day, a few years back, I gave up hurting about it. We actually became reunited and developed a very descent relationship. We call each other, we email, we talk about the ways of the world. I have even been to visit and we had the most amazing time! Over the past year, I have noticed some peculiar things, for instance, he blocked me from his email account because His wife and I were planning a cruise trip with us all. Yeap, you read that right. he was ready to cut me off once again, for some crazy reason I still do not quite understand. he came around again, but at the moment when I realized he did that, I reverted back into a sad little girl and cried for a whole day. When the tears were done,I swore I would never allow him to hurt my feelings again.
My daughter said something very wise to me yesterday, " You have made your peace with him. You love him and he loves you, but that does not mean you will tolerate such a heavy negativity from him, so do not worry Mom. It will be him missing out on your gift, not the other way around."
The moral of my story is this, Even though you love someone dearly. That does not excuse them from being a hurtful person, and it does not mean you have to give them any of your hopes or dreams to crush. Be vigilant in your pursuits! Let no negativity to seep in the crack to separate your dreams. In fact, fill those cracks, fill them up good and rely on your determination and unwavering faith, and PRESS ON!
Send them love, but don't send them your dreams. One of the great lessons in this is to remind us to be gentle with others, supportive of others, and encourage others to pursue their passion ( whether it would be yours or not).
Much Love!!!! <3 <3 <3
Full Sails Mission Statement:
"If you are serious about your Dream,
We'll Take YOUR DREAM seriously."
"The greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being."
- Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lamat
"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
- Groucho Marx
"Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared."
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