"How are you so happy all the time?"
This is a question I get asked a lot! Whether I am at my JOB, in a meeting, in my face book, on the phone, EVERYWHERE; I am asked this question in one form or another. Usually I just say, "Because I choose to be." But lately the answer has been becoming a bigger one. I was recently chatting with a Facebook friend on Skype and he asked this question. (I think he was amazed that I was REALLY happy). And I confessed that I had spent much of my precious time in my life crying. I cried myself to sleep for years. he said 'I am sorry." and I said 'Don't be, It was my fault.'
That conversation has had me thinking about my happiness, and where it comes from, and how I got here. It inspired me to write this entry in my blog today.
I am not happy because I am ignorant to the realities of the world, I am happy because of them.
I am happy because I Have finally overcome the power of negative influences. Do Not get me wrong... I still have some vices that do not suit my purpose (I am working on them), and I did not allow them to get in my way; soon they will be part of my story.
Ever since I was a little girl, I was sad. I was lonely, and I had zero self esteem. I was scared and hurt.
As I grew up I became destructive, mostly self destructive, and that modus operandi lead me down many unhealthy paths.
I have lied.
I have cheated.
I have used.
I have lost.
I was lost.
I have been guilty.
I have felt guilty.
I have hurt others.
I have encouraged negative self-destructive behavior in others.
I have given up.
I have quit.
I have been co-dependant.
I have been dependant.
I have sold myself short.
I have wasted my time.
I have hurt myself.
I have hurt others.
I have failed.
I have felt sorry for myself.
I have been sorry.
I have wasted so much of my time crying.
I have sabotaged myself.
I have broken promises.
I have made promises I could not keep.
I have been judgemental.
I have been violent.
I have been lost.
I have been angry.
I have been without hope.
I have been in pain.
I have been foolish.
I have been wasteful.
I HAVE BEEN ALL OF THOSE THINGS! For YEARS, those things defined me. They were who I was.
Now they no longer have a hold on who I am...at least not in a negative way. I accept them, and put them aside. The only value I give them is the value they have as being part of my past.
Now, it was not over night that this "Happy" me came into existence (I was already there, I just needed to give myself a break and reveal my true self). I made a decision on my 30th birthday to really work on being my best. And Yes it was(is) WORK!
I declared that I would actively begin making decisions that would improve myself. I was not going to allow myself to be my worst enemy any more.
So , step by step, little by little, my true self started to emerge. The more and more I was in contact with my truth, the more I worked on it. I had finally made a decision to stop wasting my own time.
During this process I was able to see all of the pain of the past for what it was. It all came from me. It was all my interpretation of things that happened to me, not who or what happened, but how I received it. The more and more I study happiness, the more and more I chose happiness, the easier and more happy my life actually becomes. If I had not changed MY perception, it would not be possible. The more and more I took responsibility to my happiness, the more and more it manifests in my life.
It is not easy.
I have bad days when I just can not see past the pain of a situation. But, it passes. I have learned to be patient, and that helps a whole lot.
There is so much in my life that I can see is not all right, but in comparission to what is, it is nothing. I could not have gotten this attitude about life, if I did not choose it.
Learn to accept yourself.
Take ownership of your attitude and feelings.
Make a conscious effort every single day to be happy.
When you have to, fake it till you make it!
Be valuable to yourself, be valuable to others.
Apologize to yourself and move on.
Start acting and thinking like you are already living the life you desire to live. Be aware of cause and effect.
If the people in your life will not accept your new you, then WALK AWAY FROM THEM. This is your life, do not allow anyone to keep you from living it the best way possible. If you do, you are sinning against yourself.
You have made it this far.
Now decide how you want to live. WORK HARD ON IT! I AM, and I am having amazing results!
Health and Wealth Consultant